Thursday, March 20, 2014

Just saying this

I'm not a very punctual person. I always arrive late for work. One time I was reprimanded by my boss because of excessive tardiness. I took it personally. I reasoned that I always stayed back late and even come on Saturdays and Sundays when necessary to complete my work. Why would a few minutes late in the morning be such a big deal? I mentioned this to a friend and I got a very thought provoking advice. She said, you cannot be late for work because first, it's against the company policy, and second, it's just a small task and if you cannot do it, how much more a bigger task that will be assigned to you. I said bullsh*t to the first but admitted I was a bit guilty to the second. 

I fonder about it when I got home. It's true that reporting to work on time is such a small task. All I need to do is to wake up a bit early everyday so I can leave early and don't get caught up in the morning rush. Traffic jam and crowded trains were my usual reasons for being late. Seems pretty easy, isn't it? Nope, not really. For someone who stays online until 3AM, waking up early is the hardest thing to do. I thought about other reasons why I always overslept and found a very interesting revelation. I hated my job. I hated it because I have to stay back late everyday. I hated it because I needed to work on weekends. I hated it because I didn't have time for other personal things anymore. And the reason why I was always late for work was because I lost my motivations. After working for more than 20 years, I lost all my motivations. Burnt out. Tired. I gave a laugh on that and decided to plan my resignation.

It has been 2 years since I left my job. I never work since then. I stay at home and do the things I never had a time to do for a long time. I found a lot of unread books, unsorted photos, unopened invitations. I've been trying to learn new things such as cooking and making fancy jewelries, and realized I could actually be good at them. I'm jobless but I guess I'm more happier now than when I was earning thousands of dollars which I mostly spent buying things I didn't really need. Sometimes I miss my previous work, but I don't think I'm going back to it. While I'm still trying to figure out my next move, I decided to open my very own blog. I want to write about my experiences, about my opinion on certain matters, and about my dreams. And since I can do this at the comfort of my home, I don't have to worry about being late anymore.

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